Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me automatically when I open the door!" The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man's son, and the son's wife answers. The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I'm a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on..." At which point, Mrs. Lim yells, "Ah Seng! Ah Pa is peeing in the REFRIGERATOR again!"

This black guy was walking by a lake. Sitting next to the lake was an old Chinese guy skipping stones off the water. As he did, they made a sound. They sounded like this? Change----Chang-Long.

The black guy was amazed. He asked the Chinaman how he did that. The Chinaman said, "this is an enchanted lake". When you skip a small stone across the water, it tells you about your immediate ancestry. When you skip a larger stone, it tells you about your ancient ancestry. The Chinaman then picked up a larger stone and skipped cross the water. Long---Dong-Chow was the sound.

The black guy picked up a stone and skipped across the water. Chim---Pan-Ze was the sound. "BULL SHIT" he said and threw another?Chim---Pan-Ze again. Really pissed now, he picked up the largest rock he could and threw it into the water? Ba---Boon!

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it." The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?" Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered. "That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

Who was the Greatest Comedian in The Bible?

Samson, because he brought the house down

Who was the greatest babysitter in the Bible?

David, He rocked Goliath to sleep.

Doctor: Your recovery was a miracle!'
Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay!'